where hath all the parodies gone?
by pogpickplayer
Summary: new school year! craig realizes he likes hip hop and that he is gay, JT learns he is racist, Liberty is sexed up, Ellie is a mindless android, and Degrassi has a grade for first year of college. Chapter 5 is up!
1. be on say and racism

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Degrassi at all.**

**It's time for school again!!!!! Yay! Go school! Well who likes parodies???**

Nadia: Ooohh! I do! I do!

Me: Shut up Nadia! Nobody cares about you anymore! come to think of it no one ever did!

Nadia: im gonna go do a science fair project, which is obviously the only thing i've ever been seen doing.

Me: whatever......

**So, anyways it's time for school, and all is a-buzz at Degrassi Community School. We start with that group of guys.**

Marco: Me and dylan had the most wonderful time together this summer.

Spinner: WAIT! DID YOU JUST SAY-

Marco: Spin, i thought you knew me and dylan were together!

Spinner: There it is again!

Marco: What?!?

Spinner: You said," Dylan and me." its Dylan and I.

Jimmy: Since when did you learn how to talk?

Spinner: I went to grammar camp.

Craig: Whoa man that is so lame.

Marco: You are so gay....

Craig: So have you guys heard Beyonce's new s-

**Everyone in front of the whole school looks at him, even the parents in the car.**

Craig: Heh, heh....Um.....i said Be on Say....y'know that new group?? yeah uh-huh....heh.

Marco: I thought you were punk (with tears coming to his eyes)....

Spinner: yeah craig uh i have to go....i have chores to do.....

Jimmy: School hasnt even started yet Spin.

Spinner: Damnit! We just have to go....

**They all leave Craig in his pathetic sorrows, as he tries to find a new group to hang with. Hey look it's Manny, Emma, JT, Toby, and Liberty. Liberty has totally got sexed up over the summer by Manny. Emma is madly jealous. **

Manny: Hey girlfriend!  
  
Emma: Hey Manny!

Manny: I'm talking to Liberty.....freak.....

Liberty: Heyyyyy! 's goin' gown girl!?

JT: Since when were you _actually_ black?

Toby: That's racist JT!

JT: Racist? i am not racist you freaking jew.

Emma: of course not JT!  
  
JT: I don't like that attitude you white gir- (gasps) am i racist????

Liberty and Manny: Yeah hun.

**JT gets wet over manny and liberty touching each other and has to go to the bathroom.**

Emma: So manny wanna do something after school?

Manny: i totally mixed this nail polish last night isn't it fab?

Liberty: totally girl!

Emma: Hello?

Manny: what? we dont talk to losers...and people who havent had sex.

**They walk off leaving only the theme song to start playing....and of course, new season, new song, new intro. This time it's the same old song but a gangsta rap version. Zooms in on Manny and Liberty giving a lap dance to JT who is enjoying it thorughly. Then zooms in on Emma who has binoculars in one hand and a gun in the other. then behind the bushes it shows Jimmy and Ashley slipping some pills in their mouthes and then running seperate ways. It goes up to the front of the school and shows Hazel copying every single thing Paige does. In the school it shows Toby in the library looking at a physics book and then zooms into Sean throwing spitballs at him. Then it shows Craig and Spinner jamming in the auditorium. Down by the lockers it zooms in on Dylan and Marco heavily tounge-wrestling. While watching, Ellie is furiously snapping her little bracelet to stop her from cutting. It then zooms out of the schoo and in to the hospital and it shows Terii laying down sleeping with her head bandage thing, and the Degrassi Logo Appears on her headband.**

so flames arent cool but if you got em shoot em at me. and if yoove got praises awesome give em to me too, not toooooo funny but itll get there,


	2. androids and crushoids

**It was about 10 minutes 'til classtime and Sean and Ellie are leaning against their lockers talking about summer.**

Sean: So Ellie how was your summer?

Ellie: I became black inside, and i have nothing to live for.

Sean: (laughing) you sound like a mindless droid!

Ellie: Heh, heh i am not a mindless android. Oh, no(in a very robotic tone)

Sean: Whoa Ellie is acting like a mindless droid, ive GOTTA find out whats going on.

Ellie: I think you were supposed to think that...not say it.

Sean: Whatever bye.

**Sean runs away from Ellie, hurriedly. Marco and Dylan are also talking...oh right Dylan doesnt go there anymore.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......welll.....ok here we go:**

Marco: I can't believe that Degrassi now has a grade for first year college students!

Dylan: Only something like this would happen in a teenage drama.

Marco: Those are so lame! (laughs)

Dylan: Marco, we need to talk.

Marco: Oh no.....

Dylan: I think we need to find other people and-

Marco: Oh my god, are you breaking up with me?

Dylan: No you didn't let me finish, I tihnk we need to find other people...and make them gay.

Marco: what?

Dylan: yeah....

Marco: Fisrt of all are you on any drugs?

Dylan: Ummmmmmmmm....yes.

Marco: what?

Dylan: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....Tylenol.

Marco: Well sounds good to me.....

Dylan: Marco, i was just kidding.

Marco: Oh, heh heh sounds good to me. BYE!

**BBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! The bell went off and everyone went to homeroom. Craig and Ashley ended up in the same homeroom with Mr. Simpson.**

Mr. Simpson: Shut the heck up! Lower the damn decibal level!

Liberty: I thought you didn't have cancer anymore.

Mr. Simpson: I'm still irritable and hostile and you can go to the office, Ms. Once-ugly-now-slutty-lady!

Liberty: geek.

Mr. Simpson: Slut

Liberty: loser

Mr. Simpson: Skank

Liberty: uh....baldy...??

Mr. Simpson: Hahaha! I WIN! That was so lame!!!!!!! Off to the office with you. Now everyone can talk since you guys have been in this dumb class for like 5 years now.

Class: YAY!

Mr. Simpson: No fun can be involved.

Class: Shucks.....

**Everyone starts talking.**

Craig: Ashlie!

Ashley: It's Ashley....

Craig: I said that....

Ashley: No you said Ashlie, it's Ashley. You know what? I thought we could be friends but when i saw you i just...

Craig: What...you just what?

Ashley: I dunno, it's your line!

Craig: Oh, um you just got some cookies....and were really hungry and had to go eat them before Manny stole them?

Ashley: yeah....sigh....

Craig: Well I really have to talk to you.

Ashley: about what?

Craig: About my apparent obsession with Beyonce, the fact that i might be gay, I have a man-crush on someone, and im really hungry....i didnt have lunch because Angie broke her "collar bone". I mean come on it's just her collar bone, and i was really hungry but Joey had to take her to the hospital, boo-freakin-hoo.

Ashley: Okay, here we go, You should keep your Beyonce thing in the closet...yeah definitley, about being gay you should totally some out and be a gay rocker! as long as youre not flamboyant you'll be even hotter than you were before, about the whole crush thing, stay away from that right now, it's a little early, the whole hungry, angie thing......here have some cookies.

Craig: huh, what? Oh, thanks so much!

Ashley: No prob,......stop eating my freakin' cookies.

**Actually Ashley, it is a Problem... seems as if Craig wasn't listening when Ashley said the stuff about laying off the crush, because he was looking at his crush then and now.**

Ashley: Why are you staring at......that poster for cheer leader try-outs?

Craig: I'm not staring at that, i'm staring at..........

cliff-ah-AH- Gordon!......i mean......

**cliff-ah-AH-hanger!**

**review please!!! or else Jimmy, Toby, and Craig are gonna join the spirit squad! And they're gonna make Toby wear a skirt.....if you don't review that is......**

**pog-PICK-playerrrrrrrrr**


	3. referrals and Barbados

**Hey, let's get one thing straight, im a guy. boy. man. male. um....dude. Im just a guy okay. and a straight one at that so let's not be getting any funny ideas eh? okay. Oi!  
  
PUNK RULES**

**So...we left off with the Cliff-ah-AH-hanger!!!**

Craig:....Dylan

Ashley: No! No! he's completely off-limits.

Craig: What are you my math teacher?

Ashley: What the hell are you talking about?

Craig: Limits....infinite limits....mean girls....

Ashley: Pass the joint already!

**BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! In da hallway, Paige and Hazel are walking to their first period class.**

Paige: I've been dreading this class all day.

Hazel: You got your schedule in hour ago.

Paige: Well I've been dreading it for an hour then. whatever, gosh, just ugh, like gosh, uh whatever!

Hazel: You need to update your slang girl.

Paige: Shut up! I can make him (pointing at me) kill you!

Hazel: Can not!

Me: Whoa, ladies. leave me outta this! Now stop arguing or I'll make you late to class!

Paige: Whatever!!!!

Hazel: So what do you have next?

Paige: Science, you loser you have it too.

Hazel: Shut up you skank!

Paige: You're the whore here!

Hazel: WHAT-ever!

**Paige and Hazel walk in to Mrs. Lakohotzsos, (she got married) and sit down and about 10 seconds later the bell rings. **

Mrs. L: Paige. Hazel. You're late. Come up here and get your referrals.

Paige and Hazel: You little-!

Me: Hohohohohohohohohohohoho!

**Everyone's first period class sucked. So did the rest of the day until lunch.**

Everyone: Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Simpson: I hate lunch.

**Everyone went their seperate ways and began eating some grub. Out by the benches were JT, Toby, Emma, and Manny.**

Emma: So where's Liberty?

Manny: Old habits have come back and she's in the library.

JT: Degrassi has a library!?

Toby and Emma: Yup.

Manny: It's okay hun, I didn't know either.

JT: We can be dumb preps together!

Manny: Of course! (Kisses JT on lips)

JT: After school? Parents at your house?

Manny: No theyre in Barbados for a week and a half.

JT: When did they leave??

Manny: Yesterday....

JT: Expect me after school.

Emma: Ewww....

Toby: Thats kinda hotgross. yeah gross. heh heh.

**Craig is eating his lunch and is thinking if he should act on his feelings.**

Craig: (whispers) I really like him.......

Marco: Like who?

Craig: You're butt! So shut up! (in funny little boy talk)

Marco: Heh heh okay??? Who's him??

Craig: Uhh, heh....new exchange student from South Korea.

Marco: Then why wasn't Him capitalized.

Craig: Sorry Spinner. Gosh.

Marco: Well gotta go annoy and invade the privacy of Ellie and Sean! Chow.

Craig: It's ciao.

Marco: Bye!!

Craig: 'S time for some action!

**Craig got out a piece of paper and wrote........**

**You've just GOTTA love cliff hangers. Well thanks for the reviews! It took me about 8 tries to spell "reviews" cuz its really dark in my room. But yeah thanks and if you keep reviweing ill kepp....spewing??? maybe i'll stick to writing...**

**pogpickplayer**


	4. 3:22 and k l m n o p

**Okay im so sorry but i have been extra super duper skooper busy and i hardly have time to write this so okay here it goes. Sorry its short but...**

**....Dear Manny,**

**I have real**

Craig: Wait! No it's DYLAN!

Jimmy: What's Dylan?

Craig: Nothing. Go away.

Jimmy: Okay Bye.

Craig: So....

**Dear Manny,**

**I have real**

**Dear Dylan,**

**I have really started to feel weird. Like I kind of have feelings for you. I think you're really hot too. Im sure you know me...i'm in your boy friend's band downtown sasquatch..im the lead singer..yeah the hot one. so anyways meet me by the janitor's closet after school when nobody is around.**

**Craig.**

Craig: Well, i am one hot feller. Feller?? Oh god whats happeneing to me.

**Craig walks to dylan's locker, slips the note in, and runs off. BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!**

Sean: Ellie let's ditch.

Ellie: Yes okay.

Sean: What is wrong with you???

Ellie: Nothing! (with a fierce look in her eye)

Sean: We're going to your house to straighten diz shiznit out yo!

Ellie: Nah, straight down biznatch.

Sean: I'm not taking no for an answer.

Ellie: Okay. Then let's go.

Sean: K, lmnop.

Ellie: who's lmnop??

Sean: Well I was like...K. and then i was k l m n o p....like the alphabet.

Ellie: I wouldnt know...I'm canadian.

**So class goes by and a few people get shot, 1 girl gets pregnant, a few kids find out they have eating disorders, and a really smart person cries when they get an F on a test...the usual. Then, 3:12 came and the school bell rang BBBB-**

Ashley: Spare us! PLease!

**Whatever. The clock had struck 3:22. No one was in school, except for Craig, Dylan, and a transvestite. But we're really focusing on dylan and craig here so...yeah. Dylan had got the note and was aroused and quickly walked towards the open janitor's closet. A quick hand shot out and grabbed Dylan's collar. They flew in to the closet and locked the door shut.**

Dylan: God, you're so hot.

Craig: No you are (IN a breathy voice)

**Craig started making out with Dylan and out of nowhere that song "Your Cheating Heart" started playing.**

Craig: Something a little hotter?

Me: Oh...right...something hot, mysterious...rock??

Craig: Yeah whateaver you're wasting time on us!

**So, I put on Coheed and Cambria's Delirium Tripper. They continued to kiss for about a second and then the janitor walked in and said.....**

**short...yes. BUT sweet...sorta.**

**pog-uh-picka-player**


	5. Janitors and Punk Chicks

**So, I'm so sorry for not writing in a million years but it is gonne be a while. I've been caught up in a lotta crap so i havent had time at all! It's just one thing after another...I guess I could write a tiny tiny bit.**

Janitor: Oh you two kids. I remember when i was a youngin like you two. Me and MY girlfriend would always kiss in a janitor's closet. But you two better get outta here.

Dylan: Uh yes, sir (In a high voice).

**Dylan and Craig ran out of the school laughing.**

Craig: Now where are we gonna make out?

Dylan: I don't know...

**Spirit Squad Try-Outs! Yeahhhhh!**

Paige: Next Loser.

**Hazel walks in.**

Paige: Hazel stop being an idiot.

Hazel: I'm trying out for the spirit squad though.

Paige: You're already on it you broad.

Hazel: That's right.

**Hazel sits down. A new punk chick comes in and gives her form to Paige.**

Paige: Melissy?

Melissy: Yeah.

Manny: It looks like Pissy.

JT: She looks like a lot of different punk bands threw up clothes and skin and bones and Melissy was born. She's too punk! Can she even do anything?

Paige: I don't know! Ask it!

Hazel: What can you do? I can play a guitar and do a back flip. Rock on.

Manny: There's already two rocker girls on the show...

Paige: You're right.

**The floor falls from under Melissy.**

Manny: You're so Hot JT!

JT: No, you're so hot!

**Manny and Jt start making out on the table.**

**sighhhhhh**


End file.
